wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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