so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
