Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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