why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
