if you like me you must not know who I am
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
