So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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