i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
