PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
