Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
