Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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