hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
