You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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