Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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