Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
