At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
