he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
