you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
