I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
