I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
