party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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