what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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