This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
