the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
