she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
