Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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