Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
