She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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