I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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