im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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