David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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