remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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