I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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