I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
