You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
