Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
