White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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