people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
