I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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