In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
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