Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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