I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I party with great urgency now.
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