I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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