We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
