drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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