i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We are all done wearing pants today
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
