On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
