I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
