Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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