I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Sorry about my life...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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