i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
