so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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