Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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