How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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