Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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