It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
