Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
