Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
