Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize