I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
