He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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