1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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